Reflections of a Postulant

As a postulant at St. Procopius Abbey I was asked by Brother Guy to relate some of my thoughts on the monastic vocation. Brother Guy figured that since I am new to the community many of my thoughts might help those thinking about entering the monastery here. Thus, the following are some of my thoughts about the monastery so far.

One point which might help you better understand monasticism is that monasticism changes from community to community. So we should be clear that what I talk about here is monasticism as practiced by the monks at St. Procopius Abbey. If one is familiar with monasticism at another place it might not necessarily help him in understanding monasticism here.

"For God's love endures forever."

Obviously, there are many stereotypes of a monk in our minds and in our culture. We tend to think of austere, silent, humble men when we think of monks. Perhaps these ideas of a monk scare some and perhaps they attract others. My suggestion, however, is that if you want to understand better the monastic life here then you should not imagine monks or the monastery in these terms -- they are inaccurate and tend to be a romanticization of monks.

After all, the purpose of a monastery is not to be "monastic" per se but to work towards the salvation of each of its members. This does not mean that there is no monastic tradition here, however. There is a tradition which emphasizes prayer (communal and personal), work, kindness and concern for each other, hospitality towards others, and love of God. These are monastic qualities found at St. Procopius Abbey.

An intimidating feature of monastic living is the discipline of the Rule. Many might be hesitant of bearing the monastic yoke because they fear being stifled. This fear should not be given too much credence, however. While deciding to live under a rule is a serious thing worthy of much thought it should not be understood as stifling. The discipline of the rule is a means and not the end for a monk. The monk comes not to follow a rule as much as to find God. At St. Procopius Abbey they show a healthy appreciation for the proper understanding of the Rule. Discipline is not severe or overbearing. I understand this to be because each monk is seen as an adult capable of self-discipline who should not have to be told constantly what to do and how to spend his time.

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This is an important point. Those who desire a strict comprehensive rule might be showing an immature desire to be controlled or might think that the sacrifices they make in order to observe such a rule will win them salvation. Yet empty sacrifices mean nothing to the Lord; there must be more to it. One does not become a good monk by having a monastic rule imposed on him; rather the holy desire to love God and serve Him in the monastic tradition of community, prayer, and work make a good monk. The monastic life comes from an inner desire and cannot be given from outside. This is important to understand.

Discipline, however, is important in any form of monasticism, I imagine, and there is discipline here at St. Procopius Abbey. The abbot is in charge and when he feels it is necessary to put his foot down on a matter it is expected that all the monks obey. Obedience is important in monasticism. Furthermore, there is a form of discipline which is subtle although important. This discipline demands that each monk do his part; that is, each monk has work to do and it is expected that the monk do his work well and ungrudgingly. In doing his part, the monk replaces his desire to do as he pleases with the desire to serve the good of the community. Such an act then becomes an act of love towards his brothers and is very fulfilling.

Another important point to make is that the monks here are not completely cloistered. While some traditions observe strict seclusion (and I admire them for it) that is not the tradition here. The monks extend their charitable acts to outside the monastery as well, particularly in their university and high school. Besides this many monks help in parishes in the area. There is a cloister here but the monks are not confined to it. The cloister, however, does provide a certain amount of seclusion which is important for the monk. It is important that the monk is able to free himself from distractions and the cloister facilitates this. The practice of silence is important in this regard as well. Silent and undistracted we listen and open up ourselves to God. When we do so properly and prayerfully, we experience God's love and goodness in their abundance.

In closing I should mention something that has been mentioned to me by more than one monk here. That is balance. The community's understanding of St. Benedict, their holy father, is that he was a man of moderation. As I said above there is tradition but not an over-bearing tradition, there is discipline but not too much discipline, there is a cloister but not total seclusion. All this characterizes the balance and moderation typical of St. Procopius Abbey. This shows a profound awareness of purpose here at the monastery; we are not to get caught up in particulars or to take anything to its extreme but rather we are to remain focused on our purpose as monks -- to find God. This, I think, is the great virtue of the monastery, its focus. The lifestyle is wholesome and balanced and thus allows us to focus on our goal of living in communion with God.

-Bro. Austin Murphy completed his Postulancy and entered Novitiate on September 5, 1996. He professed his simple vows on September 6, 1997, Solemnly Professed on August 5, 2000, ordained a deacon on December 21, 2002, and a priest on July 3, 2004. Fr. Austin is now working on a doctorate in Theology.

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